Sher, this is for you...for making me feel special on a day when feeling special seemed impossible. For always being my friend, even when you were completely alone in caring about me. I definitely would not be able to live a life that didn't include you, and my French would be far worse than it already is. Without you, my life would have a huge void where all our great memories would be missing. I would not have learned the things I am about to say about myself, and I wouldn't be strong enough to actually say them. You are a sunspot in my life lovely, you will always be my best friend, my long lost sister, my twin soul. I love you Sher, thanks for sharing so many special afternoons with me, for opening your heart to me and for helping to heal my own.
I've learned these things about myself.
I'm a nice girl, and as cliche as it sounds, we will always finish last. I'm okay with that, because I always want to see others succeed, I'm just now learning to give myself some credit. Thanks for my bosses for pushing me in this.
I am an over achiever, in almost everything.
My expectations are unrealistic, and I'm okay with that.
My body will never look like it did before kids, and no matter how nice people are, they haven't seen me naked and just don't get it.
I will try almost anything once. Fear isn't something that holds me back and I don't care if I look dumb.
Snuggling is the key to my heart.
I am deceptively strong, physically and emotionally.
My two biggest flaws/strengths: my sensitivity and my willingness to forgive.
I can become friends with just about anyone.
I sell myself short a lot.
Heavy metal is about the only genre of music I never listen to.
My girls are lucky to have me, but I am even luckier to have them.
I have skills with a camera.
I can teach myself almost anything.
Nobody can challenge my bravery.
28 is my number, not my age, I'm way older.
Sometimes even I need to sleep.
The more I run, the bigger my butt gets and I think it's okay (so does Evy).
I have trouble being mean to others, but I can say the cruelest things about myself.
When I'm really upset, I want to cut my own hair or throw dishes, but I don't do either..I run.
I miss my family.
I cherish my friends.
Trust is something I give too easily.
Money doesn't have power over me.
I wish I had more patience with my girls.
I get that I am a work in progress, and I wish I had more patience with this process.
That's all I can say right now, I need to go run. I love you Sher, I hope you enjoy this because I'm sweating bullets. :)
Friday, April 23, 2010
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Tomorrow I work all day, so I'm posting for Avery now, before I crash after such a long day off.
Avery, you're stunning. I know you think your body isn't changing fast enough and you want to look so grown up. Let me calm your fears baby, you are growing in ways that matter more than physical, you are maturing in spirit and understanding. You care about people, you are sensitive, caring, and such a good girl. Being so sweet will bring people into your life who will need you, be patient with them, but always remember to refresh and take care of yourself as well. Advice will be something you will have to give, because you have gone through much and dealt with it beautifully. Don't be a know-it-all, be a listener and a shoulder for those who come to you, and when they ask...share your story. I can't imagine my life going in a different direction, even though it seemed scary when I was so young, but Avery, you have helped me become a better person. In many ways you really saved me from making a lot of mistakes and wasting my life. When you were born I realized that there is a love that most people can't grasp until much later in life when they have children. So maybe it wasn't ideal for me at 16 to have a child, but I am eternally grateful for you being given to me, I didn't deserved you and I still don't, but daily you make my life a happier and more fulfilling one. You're my special blessing, my best little friend, and a beautiful young lady on her way to a gorgeous teenager. Slow down and love who you are, because your sisters and I think you are pretty darn fantastic. I love you baby, more than you will know for a long time and I hope we keep growing closer each day.
You mean the world to me,
Another day, another post. Today is Masyn's day.
Masyn, you are a great source of entertainment and love. You make people work for your affection, and prove to you that they are worth your time. Once they earn your attention and time you are a best friend and pal for life. Your memory is amazing and the little details that never escape you blow me away all the time. I love your little quirks, even when they challenge my patience. It's so rewarding to be able to watch you learn to temper and direct your strong need for order and understanding of all things. I love being able to teach you about things and watching your eyes brighten as you grasp something for the first time. I giggle when you try your best to tell me I am wrong about simple things, like when you swear the sky is not blue, but rather yellow...or you KNOW in your heart that Christmas happens in the Summer AND in the winter. Even though right now you believe you know it all, the world has much to offer and show you, and I hope your heart lights up as you experience new things and are not afraid to break your routines and live life to the fullest. You are like a magnet Na-na, people have long been drawn to your charismatic smile and sparkling blue eyes...but it's more than your sweet face, you have inside you something that many people long for, you know who you are even at the young age of 6, you are full of confidence and love. Hold onto that and share it with everyone you can, let family and friends learn from you and spill your Masyn-ness all over them. Don't let people try to change you, but be open to learning new ideas and respecting how others feel. You will touch so many lives, I have always known this. I love you more than any other Masyn in the WHOLE world, nobody can take your special place in my life lovey!!
I love you huge,
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Sometimes I just like to take time to celebrate each of my girls all on their own. Maybe some parents think that is being "partial" but I think it's "personal."
So today is "doo-day." My Evelyn getting a post all to herself.
Little doo, one day down the road you will know just how special you are. How amazing you make everyone around you feel. You brighten the lives of all who know you, even when you frown you make others smile. By far, you are my snuggliest baby, and that makes me so happy to finally have a little snuggle bug to share my bed with. I love that you show all your emotions when you speak, that your face changes from happy to sad at the speed of light, and that you and I have our special song. I adore you dooby-doo! You're my strongest girl and even though you are the youngest, you're often the leader. I see strength in you that will carry you so far in life, as long as you stay humble, honest, and keep love foremost in your life. You won't have trouble with this, you are naturally loving and affectionate, don't let people drain that from you....stay close to your family, we love you and find friends who pour love back into your life and don't just take it away. You're precious in every possible way a person can be precious, a true treasure to me and to your sisters. My life wouldn't be complete without you Evelyn.